All weekend, I’ve had this uncomfortable feeling. I thought going to my favorite beach on Saturday would clear my mind, but the feeling still lingered.
This morning, while adding mulch to the eggplants, I felt tremors and waves of dizziness. The thought of my supervisor witnessing this and then devising ways to have me terminated troubled me greatly. Thankfully, through the practice of meditation, I am creating a new awareness of these thought patterns and responding in more positive ways. And so I told myself it’s going to be okay and practiced the grounding technique my therapist taught me, using the majestic Wai’anae mountain range as my anchor. Thankfully, the tremors ceased and no seizures ensued, yet later in afternoon the uncomfortable feeling returned.
My mind felt cluttered and my throat felt constricted. I felt now would be a perfect time to remove the weeds from the lettuce beds. As my hands touched the soil, its life giving energy provided some mental clarity and I was finally able to describe what I’d been feeling-distrust and vulnerability; two emotions that if left unchecked can cause us to act in discordant and inhibited ways. After leaving the farm, I called my cousin in New York to share what I was feeling. I know my options now and with a peaceful heart and clear mind, I am confident that I will make the choice that is best for me.
Friends, I believe these uncomfortable feelings serve a purpose-whether they are telling you to communicate your needs and wants, to be more compassionate, to see situations in a new light, and perhaps to even serve as a compass to shift your life in a new direction.
Have a peaceful week friends.